“I flap my arms when I get happy”

“You shake like an 80-year-old man”

“She threw my shoes away because someone spilt something on them”

“Hot pockets are the sexiest thing”

“I spilt green bean juice on my jeans”

“The tickets were sold out”

“Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.”

“Is your name wifi? Cuz i’m feeling a connection”

“Kiss me if i’m wrong but dinosaurs still exist, right?”

“I hope you know CPR because you take my breath away.”

“There are 21 letters in the alphabet, right? Oh, never mind. I missed U R A Q T.”

(Takes a photo of her) “I want to show my mom what my next girlfriend looks like.”